Dad Bod Ogre

I just won the bride lottery!
Except I don’t want to go to Earth, marry some spoiled rich kid, and live in the lap of luxury. That’s someone else’s dream, not mine. My life is here on Stars’ End, farming cheeka silk and breathing fresh mountain air. There’s only one thing to I pack my gear, say a temporary goodbye to my beloved cheekas, and set out into the great unknown. I only need to survive until my twenty-fifth birthday before I’m too old to be a colony bride. The only way there is through land marked Here Be Ogres, but nobody has seen one in years. Surely, I can’t have phenomenally craptastic luck back-to-back, right?