Барри Йонсберг — новинки

This isn't just about me. It's also about the other people in my life - my mother, my father, my dead sister Sky, my penpal Denille, Rich Uncle Brian, Earth-Pig Fish and Douglas Benson From Another Dimension. These are people [with the exception of Earth-Pig Fish, who is a fish] who have shaped me, made me what I am. I cannot recount my life without recounting elements of theirs. This is a big task, but I am confident I am up to it. Introducing Candice Phee: twelve years old, hilariously honest and a little ... odd. But she has a big heart, the very best of intentions and an unwavering determination to ensure everyone is happy. So she sets…

From the moment Miss Payne (“The Hound of the Baskervilles, the English teacher from Hell. The Pitbull!”) walks into their classroom, Calma and Kiffo know she will have to go. After doing a bit of, well, teacher stalking, they are amazed to discover her having late-night rendezvous with suspicious associates. Could she be involved in the mob? The drug trade? How fabulous! But the more they work to prove Miss Payne is crooked, the more evidence they find of her innocence. Creeping hell! A teacher this heinous has got to be guilty of something—right?

Part quirky journal, part detective fiction, this wild and witty novel is a laugh-out-loud comedy about two unlikely friends who are drawn into a dramatic series of events through their mutual mistrust of their new English teacher.

'I don't know you at all. I wouldn't recognise you from a hole in the ground. If I was telling this story to some friends, then they would already know Kiffo and they would know me and they would know the school and everything. I'd just be able to get straight into what happened when a new English teacher, the Pitbull, slobbered and snarled her way into our class. But you don't know anything.

AKA "The Crimes and Punishments of Miss Payne"