You know those articles about how to get J-Lo's toosh, Gwyneth's arms, Brad Pitt's rock-hard abs? Forget them! Even Cameron Diaz doesn't look like Cameron Diaz. Those photos we see in magazines are shot after hours of hair and makeup sessions, then airbrushed to perfection.
Unrealistic aspirations to live up to these impossible standards lead nowhere except to poor self-image, self-loathing, and disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. Lizzeth from my Biggest Loser season 1 team had suffered all her life. And I know because I've been there, too. When I went from being a chubby kid to a chubby teenager, I became obsessed with my weight, falling into a cyclical pattern of self-hatred and low self-esteem fueled by the bogus images of women in magazines or on TV. I struggled desperately, obsessively, with the desire to be as skinny as Kate Moss. In my worst years I starved myself and even went for a liposuction consultation. I would spend hours in front of the mirror picking myself apart, analyzing my every flaw, beating myself up over every imperfection; my body became a screen onto which I projected all my negative feelings.
It wasn't until I started to accept and love my body -- and work with it rather than against it -- that I got real results. I might not look it on TV, but I'm short and stocky. Period. I even have cellulite on my butt. I am a real flesh and-blood woman with plenty of imperfections. And I happen to look and feel great -- I have learned to be the best me that I can be. I'm healthy and strong and in the best shape of my life because I accepted the reality of my body. I will never have the petite, slender frame to which I aspired for so many years, but now I don't even want it. Once I let go of that unrealistic notion of what I thought I should look like and realized that I could be a sexy, voluptuous woman, I was able to look at myself honestly and see what could be done to make me look and feel my personal best.
Take a good hard look at where your negative feelings about yourself are coming from. Whatever the source may be, whether it's media brainwashing, judgment from family or friends, or maybe a bad relationship, you must recognize it so that you can begin to let it go. Forget perfect. Perfect is boring! Our bodies are beautiful, no matter how narrow our cultural definitions might be. Embrace your perceived imperfections -- they make you unique -- and love who you are. It's the only way to move forward.