•Inquiries: How does this... «Coach the Person, Not the Problem»

•Inquiries: How does this goal align with your broader aspirations or values?

How do you want to feel?

What is missing for you or stopping you from moving forward?

Can you reflect on any patterns or habits that might be hindering your progress?

Can you imagine yourself a year from now, looking back and feeling proud of the choices you made? What actions would lead to that feeling?Can you identify any underlying beliefs or assumptions contributing to your perception of this as a problem?

Can you explore how this challenge might present an opportunity for growth or learning?

How might reframing this situation from a problem to an opportunity change your approach?

How have your failures or setbacks in the past contributed to the choice of actions you do now?

How do your values align with the actions you've considered but haven't yet pursued?

•No matter how masterful of a coach you are, someone must demonstrate a willingness to engage in coaching for you to be effective.

•You can always start with coaching. If you discover that clients don't have the experience or knowledge to know what to do, you can ask if you can step out of coaching to offer suggestions.

•A coach should be willing to give up being the one who knows best to be the coach, step out of being the expert, fixer, or helper.

•the direction of coaching can change many times in one conversation, the final destination needs to be clarified for any sense of forward movement to be felt.

•Coaching the person instead of the problem can be called awareness-based coaching to differentiate it from solution-focused coaching. The focus of such coaching is on identifying beliefs behind opinions and actions and on fears and conflicting values

•Before clients move into action, it's important to anchor the new perspective by asking them to articulate what they are now seeing or learning. If clients don't articulate their intentions, they may still feel tentative after the coaching session ends. You may even ask them to share the new story that is unfolding and how they want this story to end.

•Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.

Judgment is a reaction that occurs when the brain determines that what was said or done conflicts with our frames—who we think we are (identity) and how the world should work (reality). Try walking around for twenty minutes noticing your world without your I getting in the way. See if you can notice things, situations, and people as if you had never seen them before.